Thursday, July 30, 2015

Lessons: Name and Shame

Normally, I don’t call out pilots who fly like complete idiots, because that’s not very cool.  The goal of this blog is to help people improve their PvP by taking a critical look at their game and identifying not just tactics, but approaches to the game and ways of looking at things, too.

But, in rare cases, improving one’s game requires public ridicule as a motivator.  You have to be certain that you either a) never want to speak to that person again, or b) understand what makes that person tick.  And the mistake has to be particularly egregious.  This scenario suits both criteria.

Yesterday, I observed a loss that was just horrible.  The pilot in question was flying a Svipul – oddly enough a dual ASB fit – and slid into a FW plex to fight a lowly Catalyst.  As you might imagine, the catalyst was sitting right at zero, and the fight began quickly.  It ended almost as quickly, too.

That’s right, folks.  The Svipul pilot was me.  What was my egregious error, other than losing T3D to T1D?  Did I forget to overheat?  No.  Did I forget to load the right ammo?  No.  Did I delay before turning on my ASBs?  No.  I made the most basic error you can in a T3D.

I forgot to switch to defensive mode!

That’s a colossally stupid mistake – a T3D 101 lesson, if you will – and resulted in such an embarrassing death that I can’t begin to describe to you.  I was in a fleet at the time, and my corpmates, bless their hearts, were trying to salve my shame by pointing out all sorts of excuses.  “That was always going to be a close fight,” Thedaius said.

No, it wasn’t.  He was at 20% structure when I died.  I just needed 2 more cycles of my guns.  If I’d have been in defensive mode, my ASB cycles would have fully repped the incoming damage and I wouldn’t have even bled any armor.  This was 100% preventable if I’d have remembered the quintessential fact about the freaking ship I was flying!

Just shameful.  Inexcusable.  Stupid.

So, consider this a Talvorian Dex roast.  Please shame me.  I need it so I never do this again.  I need it so badly that I’m lifting my ban on ad hominem comments for this post.  I look to you to live up to Eve’s reputation for brutal trolling!

Even I need harsh lessons from time to time.


  1. As promised, I'm here calling you terrible.

  2. Well, thank you Tal. In your last post I asked to see your dual ASB Svipul fit, and you did your very best (or very worst really) to make that happen for me. And to give me something to laugh at on top of that.
    A+ for making your readers happy, that's how you retain them long term.
    F however for that fight.

  3. And losing to a noob corp, too (E-UNI) - for shame, for shame! :-) (Though Kelon is far from inexperienced.)

    1. That's one of the things that annoyed me. I HAD him, but for my own stupidity.

  4. Tal!! Your mother and I are VERY disappointed with you.

    I had the same thing last night. Lost two Crows doing just dumb stuff. First I tried to crash the out gate instead of the gate I'd just jumped through. "Why am I not ... Oh... Yeah. That's why I'm dead." Later on I couldn't be arsed to orbit a Hurricane Navy, burned straight at him like an idiot, got neuted, pointed, and died. In both cases it was a blatant brain failure and even though no one else in fleet seemed to notice I felt like the word "Scrub" was blazing in neon letters above my head.

    In retrospect, I probably just needed some sleep. Lol.

  5. From the last few paragraphs and some of your own comments, it looks like the most brutal is yourself. Just climb back on that damn horse and go do it again until you get it right!

  6. My excuse is usually 10yr laphroaig or a rumbustious 2yr Labrador. (or a combination). Neither of which provide the lesson of "next time I will".

    True admonishment is deserved for reprobates. Are we not educated?

  7. You've come to the wrong crowd for devastating trolling, We're *far* too nice to even *think* of it, right guys?

    *watches the horde descend*


    Eh, you made a mistake, Did you heat your guns? Did you heat your tank? Did you heat? :P

    It really isn't that bad. Losing a ship to a player is 'honourable', Just remember the exhilaration of the fight, the pulse-racing, the eye-twitch. Everything else is secondary.

    Slow. ignominious death is the worst in this game, and I will forever remember my only two Proteus losses, grinded down by the new-fangled Worms (way back when Worms were new and good and totally not overpowered... :P) and the other, ignominiously executed by Sansha rats due to my own exhausted piloting.

    Those were losses to be ashamed of, not this clash of firepower and death. if I could have 100 fights like you had, I would. (I do hope I'd learn after the 10th, I think :P)

    Rob K.

  8. LOL, almost as much of a scrub as me!

    You forgot about a relatively new thing, during a fight where you probably had lots of things to think about.

    I lost my first confessor the other day 'cause I forgot about a basic game mechanic. I rushed to point a neutral BC that came through the gate with me.
    Then I got blapped by gate guns 'cause I forgot they existed.

    Top that for stupid!